Alright, so I’ve been reflecting a lot this week, and I decided I’m going to do more stuff! As in like more adult cool stuff I wish I did! Like go to a wine taste/food taste/jazz concert, or rent a car and drive through the Slovenian countryside!
Sometimes you decide, somethings gotta change, and usually that’s a positive thing. And in my case, never ever ever will it be graceful or casual.
So I’m all set, I rented a cute little apartment in Ljubljana (try pronouncing that!), capital of Slovenia, a very cool city with a ton of great art and architecture, but awesome small town feel with a castle looking down on the city. Mind-blowing. Anyway, that’s not the point of the story, well except to tell you this was the perfect opportunity to do more cool adult stuff. I heard there was a wine and food tasting/ jazz concert happening – and I thought, “Hot damn, I’m gonna go and be a grown up!” So I put on my nicest grown up lady sexy blouse, my new grown up lady lipstick (pink), my new jeans that I bought back in Vancouver when I hadn’t started to gain European cheese weight, oh duh and my grown up lady leather jacket and my hair done all nice – k? Got the picture? I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, “I did it! I’m a lady!”, and walked out the door with confidence.
Innately I am incredibly shy, so know that as I am showing up at the wine tasting/jazz concert alone, and the only things I can say in Slovenian are “I don’t speak Slovenian” and “Do you speak English”. I arrive, and see that everyone is hanging out in small groups. I immediately regret this whole stupid idea and want to turn and run away, but I’ve paid my 25 euro and dammit there is no going back. I get some wine, I wander around, eat some food, someone steals my wine glass as I am using the bathroom (you are supposed to get 10euros back for it – bastard!), I lean up against various walls and pillar-like things, try more wine, hope wistfully that someone will talk to me because I am far too shy, attempt to talk to a cute guy but the mustard from my burger explodes onto my pants so I must excuse myself, clean myself up, get some more wine, lean up against more stuff, talk to no one, go to the washroom again and realize that my fly has been undone on my high-waisted jeans since the last time I used the toilet (2 hours ago) – I decide this is why no one has talked to me.
Okay so phase 1 was mostly a bust, but not totally. I still went! And I feel better for doing so. And I actually met a really nice girl at the very end, and her and her friends took me to a party and we danced and had good time. So ha! In your face everyone who didn’t tell me my pants were undone!
Phase 2 – Rent a car and drive across the Slovenian countryside:
I rent a little white Renault car, all on my own. To reassure the guy renting me the car – I ask him what side of the road they drive on, I then attempt to enter the car, there is no regular key, therefore I am lost already and unable to drive the car. Once the guy explains how to start the car, I am off! Down the street, aaaaand going the wrong way on a one-way street. An old man yells at me in Slovenian and shakes his fist. But I am steadfast! I made it out of the city, and it felt good to be in control of a car going out into the unknown, like an independent lady! Okay I did get lost in the countryside for about an hour, but in the end I did manage to find everywhere I had planned on going: Skofija Loka (medieval town, beautiful), Kropa (tiny medieval town in surrounded by the Julian Alps), and Lake Bled (gorgeous!!!!). So, success!
But you know what? It is really hard to do stuff on your own all the time. And I really mean all the time. I am away from home 90% of the year. And I am someone who needs love and support, like most of us do. Sometimes I just want someone to say at the end of the day, “You did good kid”. There is no one to share the battles with, to tell you you are going the wrong direction on a one-way street, to wipe the mustard from the crotch of your pants, or to tell you that your fly is undone. I am forever my own friend, my own date, my own sista, my own mummy and daddy, my own sidekick and my own BFF. Sounds a little sad, but when I get home I get to tackle my friends and family with the hugs, kisses and cuddles that I have built up inside of me. And in the meantime I will always buy myself flowers, cook myself yummy dinners, and take myself on amazing dates all around the world!
If you find yourself in my shoes, traveling solo, remember to be your own best friend and best date, see everything you can, eat everything you can, and buy new pants later. Because I’m starting to believe that that’s exactly part of being a grown up – loving yourself.
More photos below that are from my story, should you decide to partake:
THE FOR REAL FOR REAL END