I was going to write something about leaving for Spain, or airports, or flights, or annoying people on flights (I’m pretty sure that’s actually me), but after spending two weeks at home, there is one thing on my mind: why my mum of course!
So I’m on the plane, flying to Amsterdam, and just finished watching the movie “The Guilt Trip” with Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand, a story of a mother and son who do a road trip across the States. It reminded me so much of my relationship with my mother. And probably if you have watched it, or will watch it, it may also remind you of your relationship with your mom (or not). I thought the movie was funny, and sweet, and awkward, and if you have a mom who drives you nuts for no apparent reason you should definitely watch it.
I left the Vancouver airport today feeling very much like I didn’t give my mum enough attention and love when I was home. This is a usual feeling for me, and if you have a great mum like mine you would feel this way too. She has always been, and will always be such a great mum. She is supportive, loving, appreciative, funny, kind and she laughs at all my jokes. Despite the way I feel about my mum, I believe that there is something programmed into our brains when we are born, that makes us love our mothers deeply, but also curses us with an irrational annoyance towards them. Very conflicting feelings. To love someone so much, but when she offers me her sunglasses when I forget mine – THAT irritates me. Why? That’s messed up! Every time I get annoyed with my mum like this I want to throw myself off a bridge because I am a horrible person and I should probably die immediately.
My sister told me once that she just understands our mum better now, since having a kid of her own. She understands, because my sister’s daughter is now her universe and love, and that is how our mum feels about us. We are her perfect imperfect creations that have held her hand since we could walk, heard our first giggles, and watched our little feet bring us to school for the first time and then onto planes to far away and sometimes dangerous places. But we are still her little babies, we are just all grown up. So it’s a tough pill to swallow when your daughter get’s annoyed with you for offering your sunglasses to her when she has forgotten hers. As I said before, we are cursed.
But my mum is my rock. I call my mum when I’m on tour overseas, mostly for mental break downs of course. When I want to quit, when I can’t bear the thought of speaking in front of people, when my heart is breaking, when I miss home – I call my mum. She will be there waiting, smiling, hands-clasped-excited when I come home, and she will drop me off at the airport every time, even during rush hour. Back when I was living at home, I was running out the door to go to my one of my old and hated waitressing jobs, and she yelled from the living room “Have a good night at work sweetheart! Remember, you are the prettiest girl there!” She’s like a personal cheerleader. I know she will be the first person to read this, and she is my biggest fan.
Maybe not everyone feels like this about their moms, and I know not everyone is so lucky. But we all have people in our lives that are supportive and love us, and we have to be thankful for love. Love is universal, international, all around the world, everywhere I go – there it is. Love is awkward, imperfect, wonderful and weird. It is important to show love, give love, and to be loved. Today I am showing my love. I love you very VERY much mum. And I’m very glad I didn’t write about getting stoned in a cafe in Amsterdam during my layover like we discussed.
What I’m trying to say, is that love is the most important thing to pack. So pack it, and don’t forget it. It doesn’t take up much room.